Why? Questions that I need an answer for, I never seem to get. I'm sitting here on my dining table with my iPad at 11:30 at night and I'm sort of wondering what I'm doing here. In the broader scheme of things. What makes me want to blog at this time of the night? Everyone else at home is asleep. Do I want to talk to you? Do I want to say something? Is it a subconscious desire of mine, that compels me to write about the ethereal? My human sense of curiosity that makes me want to discover what's beyond? Could it be the Coldplay in my ears? The very music that drives my being? A tear rolls down my cheek. I ponder upon its existence. Why am I crying? It is not because I'm sad. I'm just wondering about everything. I begin to understand. I see the larger picture. My emotions roll over each other, creating a jumbled mess of mind, body and soul. All sense of meaning eludes me. I start to see pictures of people and places. I begin to hear sound. Laughter, happiness, a strange beat that seems to originate from within my chest. I begin to wonder about my existence. I wonder about that beat from my chest. Is it really there? Or is ir a figment of my imagination that wants me to believe I am alive. Is it maybe driven by the hope that someone, somewhere wants me to exist. It is pitch black. The only light is the glare from my screen. I feel a warm embrace, but there is not a soul around me. Maybe it is the wind. A warm shiver runs through my body. It reassures me of my existence. I am alive.
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