Tir Nan Og, Alcest.

The breeze was alive. It spoke to me. It carried memories of the past and visions of the future and things I could't understand. Yet it's constant chattering and whistling brought me comfort. I saw a figure fade away in the distance and I began to run towards it not wanting it to disappear, but when I caught up to it, there was nothing. No one. 

I felt intoxicated by your presence. I breathed in the smell of the sea and thought that this is where I belonged. The shore was a mess of rocks and plastic. It was corrupted. Corroded by the greed of man and his never ending desire to have what he does not need. Yet your very existence made it all seem beautiful for that one moment. Like nothing could ever be wrong with it. Like nothing ever was. You exude perfection in your every breath. Your beauty graced the streets and people parted to let us through. I was starstruck. I had gone mad. I was madly in love. 

I am like the moon. I hide away my darkness and show you only what I want your to see. There's a side of me that I try to deny, but without it I would be incomplete. I would be shallow. Half-faced. I wouldn't be able to live without it and that troubles me. I want to be able to be loved, but deep down inside me, in places I do not want to go, I've seen the truth about who I am. 

Perth, Bon Iver.

The beach was the same as it always was. There was, however something undeniably different about it. Something had changed. Something about us had changed.

We held hands as our feet shuffled along on the sand. You laughed. You have such an infectious laugh. It's the happiest laugh I've ever heard. There's no scorn, no cynicism. Just pure, unadulterated happiness. You made me happy. You always have.

I was so in love I felt breathless. My heart and mind and soul, all a confused mess of being. That didn't disturb me. I had you. I had you beside me. I looked at you, your pretty face, your eyes. I was lost. I thought I heard a guitar playing, and I could smell the earth after it had rained. Those are the things that remind me of you the most. I feel something else when look into your eyes and when you laugh and the whole world seems to be turning upside down and I feel giddy and happy all at the same time and I.

I feel alive.

Phteven.

I've been listening to  twenty | one | pilots  a lot, and I've been in this moral questioning mode, not really knowing which way is left and who I really love anymore. My father turns out to be a fairly terrible person, which is depressing, because I thought he was getting better. I got a new MacBook Pro, which is wonderful, but it means that I have another thing that makes me want to study a little less, which is a terrible thing. I'm still in love with someone and that's a wonderful thing, but I'm not insomniac anymore, so I question the reality of that love. I think every thing seems fairly wrong to me, except I know I'm doing the right thing and the weight of moral obligation and my increasing need for being happy is making me suicidal. Liberty in death. I don't want to be dead but I want to be happy and I know that love will make me happy but I seem to be doing quite the opposite of what I should be. I know I shouldn't be writing this, but I have to because I promised someone I will. I think my brain hurts because my stomach is empty. If only I could eat butterflies. 

this one?

I will remember your face.
Because I'm still in love with that face.
And when the stars.
Are all we share.
Will you be there.
For me?

gajdhendhsuauwyehdnak

Feelings right now. So? What do you say? I don't know what to say about that. I don't even know what it means. I

We're both going to live extraordinary lives. Yes we will. I promise. I keep promising and for once I don't feel shallow. For once I don't feel like a liar. I feel truthful. To me.

We're going to have extraordinary lives an build temples out of paper and set them alight.

Were going to have extraordinary lives and see extraordinary things.

We're going to let go of everything and go to a carnival and have fun.

And breathe

And live

And love

Because we'll tell each other about being free.

Advice from a suicide case

Remember the moment you know exactly where you're going, because the next moment, before you know it, time is slowing and it's frozen still. And the window sill looks really nice, right? You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, right? Fight it, take the pain, ignite it. Tie a noose around your mind loose enough to breathe fine and tie it, to a tree. Tell it, "You belong to me, this isn't a noose, this is a leash, and I have news for you, you must obey me."

Sexiest darned thing you ever heard.

The Big Come Up.

Oh my fucking god this is so brilliant. It's like, the perfect culmination of Dirty Blues and like, Soulful Rock. Just. Wow. I think I might have discovered the best band on the planet.

this=sex