You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m sure of it. It’s also so inconsequential. I love you. More than you care to know. I’ve loved you more than you’ve ever cared to think about me. I still probably do, and I don’t know if I can stand that or not. I hate dreaming, because all I do is dream about you, and when I wake up I’m left with a longing for someone and I know that this longing will remain so for the rest of my life and I can’t live with that playing on my mind forever. What do I do? I’m out of breath, I’m out of strength. I’m losing ground. I’m losing touch with reality. I talk a lot to hide the fact that there isn’t much left of me, now that it belongs to you. If you quit on me, I vanish. I’ll disappear off the face of the earth. No, I’ll still be here, but I won’t be here. They say that you’re the physical manifestation of your thought. If that had a fragment of truth to it, I won’t exist if you leave. I go around, searching for a love I don’t want. A love that I can’t hope to ever say I deserve because it isn’t the love I need. It’s compromise, and the guilt of that kills me further. I’m trapped in this infinite loop of disgust and guilt, and perhaps you can fix all of that, but you won’t. I don’t blame you, and I never will. To me, nothing you ever do is wrong. I can live with this sadness. This emptiness, and I’d rather die before I say you’re flawed. Nothing I've ever seen is more perfect than you are.
Don’t go? It’s only midnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment