We Never Change, Coldplay.

Have you ever woken up with an immense sense of sadness and guilt? It’s consuming you from the inside and all of a sudden you want to go back to sleep. The source of this torment seems to be nowhere, making you feel like it’s always been there. It breaks you. Shattered, you lie still. Wondering what happened. Wondering why you’re being subjected to this. Wondering who is responsible.

And a fragment of a dream passes by. You’re there. Holding a gun. Pointing the barrel at someone else. Who is that someone else. He lights a cigarette. The faint glow of the cigarette lighter illuminates his face. He looks familiar, but different. His eyes are full of hate, and anger. But in the midst of the hate and anger, you see a desperation. Why would someone like that be desperate? 

He speaks. His voice raspy and sore, but it’s deep and soulful. So you’re finally here, he says. You’ve finally seen me for who I am, he says. Can you do it?, he asks. Or will you fuck this up and not be able to finish what you’ve started?, he questions. Can you fucking do it?, he says. Can you hurt me like I’ve hurt everyone you loved?, he taunts.  

I shot him mid sentence. I killed a man and I felt such a rush. Then it faded. So I turned around and left. 

I feel loneliest when I’m surrounded by people. I suppose that’s why I like sitting on my own most of the time. But you know, some times, I wish you’d come and sit next to me. Maybe you’d solve this one. The way I’ve never been able to.